Yine bir pazar, yine bir sanc\u0131.<\/p>\n
Sanc\u0131larla d\u00fcnyaya gelen insan\u0131n, hayat\u0131na yeni sanc\u0131lar eklemesi ve sanc\u0131larla ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmesi pek de \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 de\u011fil.<\/p>\n
Yine bir pazar\u2026 Hem de astrologlara g\u00f6re ay tutulmas\u0131 var. Elle tutulur pek bir \u015fey olmay\u0131nca, ay tutulmas\u0131 insana pek \u00f6nemli geliyor tabii.<\/p>\n\n
Hayat\u0131mdan sanc\u0131lar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u00fcrece, yeni bir rit\u00fcelim var: sanc\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 payla\u015farak ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n da karn\u0131n\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131tmak.<\/p>\n
Bazen bu, y\u00fck\u00fc hafifletiyor gibi geliyor. Fakat sanc\u0131, payla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131yor; ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda kendi ac\u0131n\u0131 daha da b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, kendini biraz daha aciz g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsun.<\/p>\n\n
S\u0131radan bir haftan\u0131n, s\u0131radan bir g\u00fcn\u00fcnde, pek de s\u0131radan olmayan baz\u0131 diyaloglar kuruldu bu hafta. \u0130nsan\u0131n ge\u00e7mi\u015finin pe\u015fini b\u0131rakmayan \u00e7aresizli\u011fine bir kez daha ikna oldum.<\/p>\n
D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcnce:<\/p>\n
Belki de g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi\u011fimiz i\u00e7in ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, kocaman kocaman \u00e7\u0131nar a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131ndan farkl\u0131 olarak, yaralar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n zaman ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e kapanaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, bir daha da asla g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck.<\/p>\n
Oysa g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez olmak, iyile\u015fmek demek de\u011fil. Sadece saklamak demek.<\/p>\n
Ama d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyi uzun zaman \u00f6nce b\u0131rakmam gerekirdi. Yanl\u0131\u015flar ve en b\u00fcy\u00fck pi\u015fmanl\u0131klar, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcnce oluyor; bunu daha \u00f6nce \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftik.<\/p>\n
Bazen, akl\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fen tek bir an\u0131, geceyi sabaha kadar kanatabiliyor.<\/p>\n\n
A\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n kovuklar\u0131na bakarak, onlar\u0131n ka\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131nda oldu\u011funu ve ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi k\u0131\u015flar\u0131 anlayabiliyormu\u015fuz.<\/p>\n
Fakat bunun i\u00e7in a\u011fac\u0131 ortadan kesmek gerekir.<\/p>\n
\u0130nsanlar i\u00e7inse durum biraz a\u011f\u0131r; di\u011fer insanlarla olan ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tamamen kopard\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, i\u015fte o zaman ge\u00e7irdi\u011fin k\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ve ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n ac\u0131lar\u0131 herkes g\u00f6rebilir.<\/p>\n
Belki de bu y\u00fczden baz\u0131 insanlar ba\u015fkalar\u0131na s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 tutunur; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc koparlarsa, t\u00fcm hik\u00e2ye ortaya d\u00f6k\u00fclecektir.<\/p>\n\n
Ve belki de bu y\u00fczden bizler, kopmay\u0131 de\u011fil, a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcmeyi se\u00e7iyoruz.<\/p>\n
Kopmak bir anda olur; keskin ve kesin. Ama \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcmek\u2026 \u00c7\u00fcr\u00fcmek, kimse fark etmeden ya\u015fan\u0131r; sessizce, kimsesizce, koku yay\u0131lana kadar.<\/p>\n
Ay tutulmas\u0131 da b\u00f6yle de\u011fil mi zaten? G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde olur ama \u00e7o\u011fu insan fark etmez. Sadece baz\u0131lar\u0131 kafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131r ve o eksikli\u011fi, d\u00fcnden farkl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde g\u00f6r\u00fcr.<\/p>\n\n
Ben de kafam\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131m bug\u00fcn. Ay\u0131n kararm\u0131\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcnde, kendi sanc\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n
Sanc\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131n \u015fekli de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015fti belki, ama oradayd\u0131lar. Her zaman olduklar\u0131 gibi, sessizce bekliyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n
G\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda ay yeniden do\u011fdu<\/p>\n
ve ben bir cumartesi gecesinde yine bir pazar\u0131 bekledim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\u201c\u0130\u00e7imizde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ba\u015fka bir hayat var, kimseye g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen.\u201d \u2014 Turgut Uyar Yine bir pazar, yine bir sanc\u0131. Sanc\u0131larla d\u00fcnyaya gelen insan\u0131n, hayat\u0131na yeni sanc\u0131lar eklemesi ve sanc\u0131larla ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmesi pek de \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 de\u011fil. Yine bir pazar\u2026 Hem de astrologlara g\u00f6re ay tutulmas\u0131 var. Elle tutulur pek bir \u015fey olmay\u0131nca, ay tutulmas\u0131 insana pek \u00f6nemli geliyor tabii. Hayat\u0131mdan sanc\u0131lar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u00fcrece, yeni bir rit\u00fcelim var: sanc\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 payla\u015farak […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-yazilar"],"yoast_head":"\n
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